Collective Memory

by Cloud Caverns

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03:48
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03:23
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03:37
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05:38
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02:34
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about

Collective Memory is an album that's been on my plate for quite awhile. Some of these songs were written as we were recording Holy Gloom, some right after moving from NY. It's about alienation and starting fresh. It's the most personal thing I've ever written, and it feels odd to be so transparent. I recorded these tracks as quickly as possible, as opposed to rehashing and refining the same tunes over and over. Our usual approach is to sit with a pile of songs for years and keep fine-tuning them to our idea of 'finished'. This time around I left the mistakes, the grammatical inconsistencies, the off tune notes, the mis-timed hits.. I wanted to create something natural and not forced.
Dan let me take the reins on this one and have full control, and I am super grateful for that. He gave me some really great advice on how to make these songs sound bigger and warmer. He also mastered the album. Distance makes things tricky, but we have a system figured out for the next batch of songs, and we can't wait to work on those together.
In the mean time, I hope you enjoy the tunes.
Brandon

credits

released December 4, 2016

Brandon Peterson - Writing/Recording/Production
Dan Bouza - Mastering/Production

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Album art typography by AJ Estrada.

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Track Name: Home
Now I don't know which way is home,
south of the border, or north where it's cold.
I'm stuck in between where I'm at and a dream,
of you and of me and our duality.

Where we are lost and we threw away our maps,
when we're alone - but we like it like that.
When we grow old and our bones give way to some other place.

A nest torn in two by outside influence
On me and on you.
It's time to mend the straw that was strewn,
and it all came undone amongst a hurricane of news.
We let our nerves jump the gun.

Where we are lost and we threw away our maps,
when we're alone - but we like it like that.
When we grow old and our bones give way to some other place.
No I don't want to be naive,
to be wistful for my own reprieve.
But I can't help but look up for once in my life.

For once in our lives
for once in my life
for once in our lives.
Track Name: Human Nature
Tell me of your dreams,
I can't bear witness to your crimes one more time.
Tell me what makes you feel,
what makes you tick, what makes you ill
What makes you scream?
Show me a pulse or anything, some little thing
that sets you apart from stone
Breathe whatever fact, whatever fiction,
whatever friction you bestow.

I will grow til the end of the world
I'll absolve you,
Til we're dead and we are dirt anew.
And the songs that we sing are out of tune,
and that's just fine.

Every step an anchor,
in a sea made up from all your mistakes.
Every breath, a broken word,
the paralyzing fear, 'oh, look how high the stakes are!'
I fear the time has come and gone,
to linger on those starry eyes and smile
When you got behind the wheel,
you made a choice, your mind still reeling,
for just a mile.

It will grow til the end of the world
It will dissolve you,
Til you're dead and you are dirt anew.
And the things that we feel are black and blue.
and that's just fine.
Track Name: Josie
Josie was a little boy,
Well he never slept without his toys
He never left that room
Never bit more than he'd chew.
Summer came too fast one day
And the children ran so far away
from dingy, dusty school light
Out into the day

I'm sorry for the world
I'm sorry for the tubes in your arms
Simple pleasures robbed from us
I'm sorry for the stars
and the wishes you ask of them
That won't ever come true,
though I could never tell you that

Josie was a little boy,
well he read his books and did his chores.
And he wondered about the sky,
and how the Earth is round but we're all flat inside.
And one day death kicked in the door,
Took Josie's breath and all we lived for
Was crushed to carbon rubble in the cages of our chests.

I'm sorry for the world
I'm sorry for the tubes in your arms
Simple pleasures robbed from us
I'm sorry for the stars
and the wishes you asked of them
That never did come true,
though I could never tell you that

I'm sorry for the world
I'm sorry for the tubes in your arms
Simple pleasures robbed from us
I'm sorry for the loves,
and the lives you cannot make
And the hearts you cannot mend
and the ones you cannot break.
Track Name: Chrysalis
It occurs to me, that life won't ever be the same.
Now that the ocean's far away, from me.
I believe that we were never meant to flee,
But time and money let the bird cage swing
So we flew (oooooo), until the air was a little thicker
and the sky was a little more blue
Ooooh, when the dialect grew funny
And our claws planted roots.

Now I see how precious your love can truly be
When it's just you and and it's just me, alone.
And you bring me up, when I'm so high and I'm so low
A selfless slave unto my soul until we're old.
We bid adieu, Like a two person chain gang,
With nothing left to lose.
Ooooh, breaking rocks and tied with locks,
and clad with steel and orange suits.

Count to three,
Not your holy ghost, but me, and our family.
We're all we've got,
at least for the time being,
so let's not fall asleep or retreat.
So we flew (oooooo), until the air was a little thicker
and the sky was a little more blue
Ooooh, when the dialect grew funny
That's where our claws planted roots.
Track Name: No Name on the Hill
Snowy mountain hills,
we were jammed like sardines in a can.
when we knew, it couldn't go on like this.
Everybody said "We love you!
but we wouldn't pay a cent
to hear that noise. Sorry, boys."

Am I bitter or just insane?
To think that our plans would really work
When each prior one had changed,
Am I looking back too hard,
at a time that I never really knew
all that well, all that we know

we severed all our ties,
and states away, we secretly devised
the plan to thwart all plans
extend an olive branch
and spike it with the thorns of the damned
that's when we knew it was the end

Am I bitter or just insane?
To think that our plans would really work
When each prior one had changed,
Am I looking back too hard,
at a time that I never really knew
all that well, all that we know
oh well, it's all we knew
Track Name: I Do
Don't ever be selfish, don't ever be cruel.
All I ever wanted to be was with you.
I do. I do.

Remember that night on Argosy Street
When we sat idling as the snow fell to freeze on the road.
Still I don't know
About all of those people
We claim we used to know,
Where they've gone or where they'll go to,
I suppose we'll never know.
Do you? Do you?
When our wallets are empty, and our hearts are half full,
and the rainy day fund's dried up on hospitals, and funerals
I'll starve for you.

As we stood in the shadows of Saint Peter's church
The sun shining down on you, the sun shining down.
I do. I do.
I do. My god, I do.
Track Name: The Colorless Rebellion
The documents were signed,
now our lives are underlined.
Be good, be well, be kind.
And always pay your debts.
I'm feeling manic every day,
until it all comes crashing down,
this new world that is all around
and in it I am bound with barbed wire.
I'm trying my best just to play the part
Of the husband who loves his job
Not the one whose breathing hard
as the panic attacks set in
And everything I knew, was gone without a shot
with no plan, no map, no arc.
No inkling of where to go, or who I am. Anymore.

I have to think about these things now.
And it's a personal hell, believe me.
And I'm not so sure, I'll ever think again
To go where I've gone before.

Sway back and forth and never choose,
what really matters to you
Until twenty years have passed
and you're still without a clue
Of what to do with your life
Should have tried while you had time
some impressionable textbook life
conditioned by the system

Hey you, on that stage
With that cross to bear
to wear as fashion on your sleeve

Hey you, on that stage,
with your six string in tow,
on a screen for a;ll the world

Hey you, on that stage,
With your part to play,
to escape from yourself.

Hey you, on that stage
With those thorns upon your head
those horns upon your head..

Not anymore, not anymore.
I have to think about these things now.
And it's a personal hell, believe me.
I wish that I could support a better life,
for us to share.

But I'm not undone,
I'm not hanging it up just yet.
No I'm not undone,
I'm not hanging it up just yet.
Track Name: The Silent Life
Remember when there was time?
Remember when the slate was clean?
It's the price that we pay for living comfortably.
Remember when we knew exactly what we'd be?
Before we became our fathers, and our mothers.
Remember when there was money before the towers fell?
Remember when there was a mote of a light down this deep and dark well
Well, well..

And what of the ones we lost?
On dense fog nights last Autumn.
Just after the reconnect of a decade gap.
And what of the ones we lost?
With the needle still in their arm
And a desperate need to be heard by anyone.

What of their lives?
"Sketch what you want to be"
And what did they draw as a child?
Anything? Anything.

And why am I still here,
when so many have gone?
What kind of lottery have I won
that keeps me keeping on?
To my friends not forgotten-
You have my word
That every song, and every line
hangs on your image burned.
Forever burned.

Thoughts used to nourish me,
but now they dissolve, destroy.
Every little thing I once enjoyed.
Thoughts used to nourish me,
but now they dissolve, destroy.
Every little thing I once enjoyed.
Track Name: The Lowest Low
This ain't a coup
This ain't a riot,
this ain't anything I ever knew
this ain't alive
but it's not dead yet, and it's between me and you

and i'll try to be,
but I won't like to be.

this ain't the world
this ain't the place I grew up in
this ain't a warm embrace
there's no smiles and there's no love here

still I try to be
what I want the world to be
I won't dive to the darkest place
to the lowest low

this aint the place
where I'd want to raise my children
this aint a race to the bottom like they'd have you suspect

I won't lie for a minute now.
I won't tell you we're finished now.
we're not the devil, no.
we're not, no..
Track Name: Providence Point
I sung all those years to the wrong pairs of ears,
the ones that will listen, but they won't ever hear.
And the girl that I love, she told me to run,
run from every fading failure and every setting sun.

So I made a fool of myself all the time,
thinking I could change the coastline with these little lines.
Catching fish after fish from a lake sealed with ice,
Digging ditch after ditch for a third place prize.

The gravity you feel when your earth's set in stone
is nothing compared to being truly alone
In the darkest of corners, in the darkest of rooms,
in some pocket in some crater on the dark side of moons.

So I made a fool of myself all the time,
thinking I could change the coastline with these little lines.
Catching fish after fish from a lake sealed with ice,
Digging ditch after ditch for a third place prize.
Flipping switch after switch for miswired lights,
All my love for you.

Sun showers in December, and squalls through the mist,
The braying of the hounds, and the salt, and the silt.
Let's put our lives on hold, for just one minute.
For all that I lack, ten times you emit.
Track Name: Steady Things
I can't explain the way I feel today,
Like the rugs been ripped out from under my frame.
Still here I stand, with some pride but no plan,
some flame but no fan to spread it around all the room.

When I wake up, that dream I always dreamt
comes alive with color and verve (to some extent)
We've extended the reach of family,
A support so tried and true,
we thought we'd break without them.

But we'll make due with what we have,
a love so large and grand, it could fill up a canyon
or an ocean run dry, by our excessive greed,
or our excessive need for steady things.

We threw ourselves headfirst into the banks,
took a chance, took a risk, when no one else would.
Now we're standing here face to red face,
our surroundings melt down to black and white blurs,
Mountain tops line far cross the sky,
and it never gets old, and I never know why,
or what caused us to think up this place
as a paradise built by hands close to breaking